My SEMA “wtf” conversation (filled with awkward first date silences) occurred with a Performance Marketing Manager for GM.  I tell a guy that bleeds Chevy blue that all of my cars are Japanese sport compacts and he pretty much told me to talk to his hand.  I threw him enough girly charm until he at least appreciated our conversation more than the one he had earlier that morning with this guy, a dare devil that is looking for a 200mph ride behind the new Camaro on some rollerblades, probably not the kind I used to sell at Sports Authority.

So I had to look this dude up to see what nut tree incarnated such a whacko.  His website identifies his accomplishments, which I think are measured by simply not tattooing his skull into a ribbon of asphalt.

Basically, if you were to compare this guy to a car, he’d be a Nissan GTR:

0 – 100kph (0-60mph for you metric conversion challenged folk): 3.5 seconds (with VDC turned off on the GTR)

1/4 mile: 11.8 seconds

Top speed: 189mph (193mph with the GTR)

Now, I’d love to take a GTR for a ride that would shame any porn star but there is something about Mincemeat on Wheels that just doesn’t offer that same attraction.

1) Mecca for auto enthusiasts

2) Crazy Vegas nightlife

Read and enjoy the pics, nightlife only last page (9)

This one is also pretty funny- Real World Pacman: http://www.nimportequi.com/en/video_remi_pacman.html
Check out his website for hours of peeing your pants!

I also followed an SUV home with the license plate “PUCKR UP”.  I’m not sure if it’s meant to be a take on “kiss my ass” since PA only requires rear license plates or if it’s just because they drove so ungodly slow that most people would rather just drive through them.  I’m going to get a front plate (yes, pay the extra $1.00) that says “GET OVER” and see if I have any success.

This couple’s road trip trumps them all.  They decided to 4×4 their way through the Democratic Republic of Congo.  No weapons, no special security forces; just bribes, potholes the size of elephants, cannibal rebels, and city folk with machetes.  The fact that they lived to tell these stories is crazy enough, but the pictures really help you visualize the whole trip too.

And if you decide this is your thing (traveling the world from your living room), check out Long Way Round (Europe, former USSR, and across the US) or Long Way Down (Scotland to South Africa) chronicling Ewan McGregor (yes, of Star Wars fame) and Charlie Boorman’s adventures driving their motorcycles across the globe.  And finally, who knew a successful Wall Street legend would have the huevos necessary to cavort the world on a bike with his girlfriend back in 1990.  Read Investment Biker by Jim Rogers.  It’s part economics, part travel, and part what the hell have we gotten ourselves into?

Pfft, I’m talking about thirsty engines!  Injecting water, methanol, ethanol, or alcohol into your car’s engine can give you power.

Check out my latest Q&A for MotoIQ to find out why/how!

Wine tasting?  Pfft.  Bird watching?  Eh.  Track day and beer!

WGI (Watkins Glen International)- home to that redneck racing event called Nascar.  Was I there for that?  Hell no.  I’m not a redneck.  I can make right turns.  I don’t shop at Walmart.  I’m not attracted to my cousin.  This was a hotlapping event- racing for people with teeth!

<– Looks like we got jacked.  Can we get a drivetrain and frame for our comfy seats and steering wheels?  I think Rob (middle with beige sweater) got the seat with the reach around- check out his smile!

Driving in that brace is difficult enough, not sure I could manage heel/toe on the track!

Beer/spirits tasting:

Finger Lakes Distilling (Cassis liquer, Riesling grappa, Rye whiskey: burns, baby, burns!)

Two Goats Brewing (2 on tap: IPA and Cream Ale)

Market Street Brewing (sampler; fave was the Dark Ale- roasted cocoa puffs)

Stonecat Cafe for dinner (beef posole, pumpkin ravioli, cheesecake, and a Smuttynose IPA)

You know- issues in the drivers seat, not the back seat! 

I was strangling my steering wheel so hard coming home from work today, I figured I’d bent it.  Are they still giving away drivers licenses in Cracker Jack boxes?  I see way too many moronic moves on the road to feel safe behind the wheel.  Here’s a little driving test- rate your ability on the road.

Give yourself 1 point if you answer yes to the following questions:

(...)
Read the rest of Do you have STD?

These classic hot rod guys sure know how to do it!

Powered by beer?  Not quite.

It appears to be an overfill reservior for the radiator, and probably not filled with the light lager it advertises.

And no, when you’re done, peeing in the gas tank won’t get you home!

What the hell is that noise a few cars ahead of me?  Is that a Neon missing their exhaust manifold? 

Wait!  Now what’s that putrid smell?  Some oil, some coolant, a small brush fire maybe.  I slow a little.

Crap, a sudden plume of smoke similar to that out of a nuclear power plant engulfs both lanes bringing traffic to a standstill.  The Neon engine is throwing up like a sorority girl during Spring Break.  Amazingly, the driver pulls into the right lane but keeps going.  The Neon pukes up its engine for the next half a mile.  The noise disappears.  The driver seems to be contemplating picking his nose with his forefinger or pinkie while he continues to coast (much more slowly) in the right lane.  I guess he’s used to Dodge products…

I’ve seen transmissions blow on all sorts of transportation vehicles, but this is only the second catastrophic engine failure in my vicinity.  The first was a douchebag in a lowered Chevy S10 on a highway in Connecticut.  Said DB was cutting people off between lanes going nowhere in rush hour traffic.  No warning noises, no puff of soot, just a sudden explosion of fluids and smoke before the S10 driver veered off to find a salvage lot.  Karma is a bitch!