Drinking with a Capitol D…C

Washington DC has got to be one of my least favorite places to drive. Mix up asshole Maryland drivers with unpredictable Virginia drivers and you get morons driving the wrong way down a one way road, some just oblivious and others desperate to get their mistress or escort to the hotel before being spotted by a spouse or constituent. But as another one of those metropolises I’ve yet to explore- if you don’t count a layover at Dulles- and with many friends in town, it was time to check out the beer scene. DC must be a good place to knock back a few, given how intoxicated those politicians seem much of the time. So I did the token sightseeing tour, walking from the White House to the Capitol stopping at the monuments and museums in between, building up a lot of thirst!

RFD: picture an Applebee’s (or other crappy chain restaurant with a menu of deep-fried lard bombs) but an amazing craft beer selection. Their website goes into much detail about the role beer plays in their menu but it certainly didn’t taste like it. Don’t eat here unless you have an iron stomach and a hotel bathroom equipped with a bidet. But drink here- it’s convenient and has a comprehensive tap and bottle list.

District Chop House and Brewery: The architecture trumps the beer, no doubt. Service went from bad to non-existent and none of the beers impressed me. However, the menu is more appetizing than the one at RFD; eat here, then drink at RFD.

Capitol City Brewing Company: Still a glorified chain restaurant menu and more people imbibing foo-foo concoctions from the full liquor bar, but I didn’t have to fire off a flare gun or wave a flag to be served. The Pale Rider Ale, while light, had a nice kick of two of my favorite hops- Amarillo and Simcoe. The Fuel Imperial Stout helps jumpstart your late night drinking with 10 lbs of coffee.

Paradiso Pizza: Starting to notice a theme here with service… Our waiter stared at my empty pint glass, locked eyes with me, and then tiptoed back to the kitchen. Me : thirsty; you : bad tip. Given its namesake, I may have also over-hyped the pizza in my head, a parade of toppings dancing in my head until a small dribble of saliva began to form at the corner of my mouth. The star of the pizza was the magnificent wood fired crust (thanks to the hard-working boilermen in the kitchen) but the toppings were last night’s offerings at the Sizzler salad bar. However, Paradiso had another “well equipped” draft and bottle list and when I finally tackled my server, I ordered a Flemish Red (Vichtenaar) that was definitely worth the wait.

Gordon Biersch: Yes, it’s a chain but I can overlook that for a few reasons. The DC location is a cool, old building with a striking tin ceiling and ornate moldings and built-ins. The tapas appetizer (though I did eye the Hangover Pizza) was pretty tasty with bruschetta, olive tapenade, hummus, and roasted garlic guaranteed to keep the horny Senators with wandering eyes and bathing-challenged park bench inhabitants away. And most importantly, the beer is good. Not all out delicious, but unadulterated. It’s brewed “Reinheitsgebot,” to the German purity law. The Golden Export was refreshing (especially after a sweaty stroll around the city), the Hefeweizen was crisp with a nice banana clove backbone, the Marzen had just a touch of sweetness, the Schwarzbier just a touch of roastiness, and the Seasonal was the Sommerbrau, a decent Kolsch.

I also have a great spot for you foodies out there- Jaleo’s tapas bar. Now, their beer menu reads something like Crap, Crap Light, and Crappy Ice, but I can handle an hour or two without beer if the food makes me drool enough. My appetizer was prepared with a procession of tomatoes and cucumber whose dream was to be sacrificed for this gazpacho. Our entrées came out like a conveyer belt of mouth-watering food morsels… spicy chorizo in a crispy potato, croquetas de pollo (chicken fritters), marinated and lightly fried shark, pulpo a la gallega (octopus with tentacles so strong I could pick the plate off the table with them), lomo de buey (grilled hanger steak with piquillo peppers), costillas de buey guisadas (beef short ribs braised in red wine), homemade chorizo, and an assortment of cheeses. They also offer many versions of paella and even the rare Jamón Ibérico from Ibérico pigs, which are found only in Spain and Portugal and cured in salt for 1-3 years. It was illegal to serve Ibérico ham in the US until 2005 when one slaughterhouse was finally approved by the USDA to prepare and export Ibérico to the US. Save room for dessert- we had the usual flan and rice pudding, but also shared Pastel Vasco con helado de leche merengada, a Basque cake with semolina cream, cinnamon vanilla sauce, and ice milk, and Sopa fría de frutas del bosque con helado de queso fresco, chilled fruit soup with berries and fresh cheese ice cream. The last two selections were absolutely amazing. I can’t imagine going back to DC without visiting this place.