DWS (Driving While Stupid)

Chris Paschenko AP

From the files of Mr. Dū-mas, some moron in Texas with more money than driving skills freaked out when a birdie tweeted in front of his windshield. He dropped his cell phone (hopefully on a call with his insurance company finishing increasing his limits and lowering his deductible…) and managed to drive his Bugatti Veyron (me: salivating) right into a salt marsh when reaching to pick the cell up. Thinking his car might be fast enough to walk on water, his left it on for more than 5 minutes until it died, sucking up salt water, marsh foliage, used condoms, BBQ ribs, and whatever else you might find in a Texan marsh pit. And proving reporters don’t have to be smart, just literate, one reporter asks if it’s salvageable! For his over a million dollar mistake, this trust fund baby and/or oil tycoon got a call from Arnold Schwarzenegger (who is familiar with his wife’s cell phone driving habits) and a swift kick in the ass to the Car Hall of Shame.