Got vino?
Posted In Uncategorized
PA- the state with quite possibly some of the most antiquated liquor laws in existence- is now offering wine for sale at kiosks. If you’re a wino, swipe your driver’s license or state issued ID, smile at the camera (where an employee at the LCB verifies you match the picture on the license and authorizes the purchase), and blow into a breathalyzer to purchase your bottle at one of two grocery stores- a Giant in Susquehanna Township and a Wegmans in Silver Spring Township. Your selection will include more than 1000 bottles from 53 choices (none of them from PA…) and is open 9am til 9pm everyday but Sunday so if you need a glass of Cabernet to make it through church, better buy ahead of time!
In light of this newfound drinking freedom, I checked out some of the craziest state liquor laws. Here are a few:
Alabama: 1/3 of all counties are dry
Alaska: liquor stores open 8am until 5am unless it’s an election day when they can’t open until the polls close (so that doesn’t explain Palin getting elected then…)
Connecticut: mostly strict (spirits and wine at liquor stores only) but passengers are allowed open containers of alcohol in the car!
Florida: no Mickeys here- 40-63.9 ouncers not allowed
Kansas: don’t bother drinking here. 3.2% abv, dry counties, crazy bans on liquor offered, limitations on who can sell what
Kentucky: 53 dry counties, 16 “moist” counties (dry, but with a “wet” city)
Massachusetts: No happy hour discounts, no open bar or all you can drink functions (except private parties), no drinking contests, free drinks, or drinks as prizes, no more than 2 drinks per person and no less than 2 people per pitcher, no alcohol sales during polling times on election days
Michigan: no sales after 9pm Xmas eve until 7am the day after Xmas
Mississippi: free alcohol all day and night in casinos in coastal cities, some dry counties outlaw even possessing alcohol
Missouri: parents may provide/purchase alcohol for their children, no dry counties
Nevada: public intoxication is legal and no local law can make it a public offense
Oklahoma: 4% abv or higher sold ONLY AT room temperature at state controlled liquor stores
Texas: drinking at a bar or restaurant between 10am and noon must be done ONLY with the consumption of a food item as well, minors can drink if in the presence of their parent or guardian
Utah: those involved in polygamous relationships cannot drink (limit- 1 sin per person). Hehe, just kidding. Lots of other crazy laws though.
Wisconsin: minors can drink with parent, guardian, or spouse. Um… yeah, that seems fine. Let’s let 15 yr olds marry and now they can drink with each other too…
Puerto Rico: no drinking during elections or hurricane emergencies. Come on, that’s the most reasonable period to NEED a drink!